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An Attitude of Gratitude – June 17, 2013

June 17, 2013

Over this past weekend I scolded myself for slacking on the posting. I used to post every day or pretty near to it and lately it seems as if I only post once a month or so. Just because I post less often does not mean I am less grateful. Actually, it might mean I am more grateful.  There has been lots of growth and change in my life.  However, quite a bit of that growth and change is painful.  I tend to hide out when I am in pain.  I need to change that behavior. 

In addition to my son’s and youngest daughter’s engagements, my oldest daughter accepted her boyfriend’s proposal a couple of weeks ago.  That wedding will be in Portland, OR.  Let’s see… Wedding #1 in October in Colusa.  Wedding #2 in February in Portland.  Wedding #3 in April in Vegas.  I’m going to be busy.  You’ll continue to forgive me if I don’t keep up on my postings, won’t you?

Saturday was our monthly Open Art Studio meeting at church.  Katie and I were discussing play and getting out of the box.  I love my watercolors.  I love creating beautiful art that reflects God’s love for us.  But sometimes I can be too preoccupied with get the details exactly right, with making my pictures look almost photographic.  The tiny details in my paintings make them labor intensive and they take a long time to complete.  This weekend Katie challenged me to just play.  And so I did.  I played with a big, black permanent marker and I played with oil pastels.  Then I posted a picture of my results on FaceBook.  Someone contacted me, they want to purchase that picture.  I named a price and we made a deal.  Wow.

I tried to add a picture of it but am having trouble with my photo uploader.  It probably has something to do with the fact my office has not upgraded their browser in, like, forever.  Oh well.

My gratitude list for today:

  1. Play.  Whether it’s riding my bike, throwing toys for Lucy or creating a new piece of art, play is a refreshing and renewing part of my life.  It’s an attitude adjuster and spirit lifter.  Play is essential and I am so grateful it is available to me.
  2. Growth and how friends help with that.  I am working on a very painful issue in my life, one that I will eventually write about here but am not ready for that step yet.  I have a deep, dark painful secret in my life.  I did confess it to Katie this weekend and she and I spoke of it at length.  She reminded me of something I heard a while back, “You are only as sick as your secrets.”  With Katie’s love and encouragement I am taking baby steps further along the road of recovery.
  3. My biking group.  Riding on a regular basis with my group motivates me and keeps me riding regularly.  It also keeps me focused on riding rather than stopping every mile or so to take pictures or otherwise goof off.  The regular, consistent exercise has helped me along the road to my weight loss goals.  I am beginning to believe I will hit my target before October (the first wedding).
  4. Boundaries.  I have learned how to tell people I don’t want involved in their drama.  I have learned how to speak calmly, softly and reasonably without letting myself being dragged into arguments.  Specifically speaking, my youngest daughter has had a few “Bride-zilla” moments over the past couple of weeks.  I have been able to calm her and soothe her without getting involved in her drama.  And she’s still speaking to me.  I am relieved and grateful for that.
  5. Jeffrey.  With Father’s Day over the weekend I was inundated with Father stuff.  I know I have mentioned before that my biological father was angry and abusive.  Jeffrey is my step-father and even though he married my mom after I was technically an adult and already had Sara he has been a wonderful father-figure to me.   Meg and I are going to celebrate Father’s Day with him next Saturday to express our gratitude to him.

Dear Lord,  My heart is full of Your wonders.  I have been truly and deeply blessed by all your gifts to me, first and foremost being Your precious Son.  Please help me keep my focus on Him as I walk through my daily life and all the challenges I have ahead of me.  Thank You for the growth You have sent my way the past few weeks, months and even years.  Thank You for the continued growth I know is coming in my future.  I pray all this in the name of Your Son, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  AMEN

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